Time to count or be wasted

As the month of April rolls around I realize how little time I have left in the place called school. With all that has happened this year I realize I have truely been blessed. I thank God for the friends I am able to have and the experiences I share. But expectations for the summer make me nervous. So much is going to happen by my daily choice I become uneaisy of my desicions. It is about the here and now. My focus may wander but I need to stay in the present. Will I be prepared for the situations ahead? Will I make the right desicions for me and my friends? I need to move on from the callings of bad relationships. But something pulls me back. I want to be rid of it but I never find the time or courage to face it. I feel false, giving advice to those who need it but not taking my own medicine. Why can't I make the right desicion? Why can't I face the problems I create?
I was disappointed that I was not excepted into the Electrical Engineering Summer program at MIT. I would have loved to have that experience. I still hold strong to follow a collegic degree in Electrical Engineering. I am drawn to it.
In this wonderful month so much is happening. More expectations. More unanswered questions. Some will be resolved in a couple of days some not til the end of the month. The upcoming is the Timber Creek Choir Talent Show, for which me and my friend auditioned for almost a week ago. We find out if we make it on this coming Tuesday and the Show will be on the following Tuesday. My sister is in town this week for her Spring Break and expects many things, some of which are quite impossible to fulfill. One of which is the atitude of a little sis that has had her big sis gone for almost 2 years of her life. People change and grow in new or different surroundings and with new responsibilities. To come home and expect things to be the same as was left is impossible. My dear sister leaves Thursday and that Friday I will be trying to work out some kind of friend time. Of which I was wanting to discuss with a certain person whom I am attached to, but alas as always he can not be reached and leaves me hanging on a hope that should never have been hoped in the first time. With hope dashed I spure on to the next weekend. A famous Cancer cause and an enjoyable night of all nighting. Of this time I need to be smart in my desicions. I am required to appear at Relay for Life, which is not a problem, I wish to stay up all night with my good friend but in need of rest I must make a desicion for I have work that night. The next weekend is the one I truely get to look forward to. Washington D.C. and a ton of singing. I enjoy spending time with my fellow singers doing what we love. Then at the end of that next week is a Favorite Event, PROM. I have not been asked by the same above mentioned person of significance, but I hope for asumptions sake. That of which brings us to May which will be explained in a later letter. But to my hearts calling I am nervous and anxious for the upcoming events and encounters. Wish me well and encourage me.